Draw Me Like One of your French Girls
by L122yTorch
Summary: On the bridge one day, purely out of boredom, Jim opens the sketch app in his PADD and begins drawing Spock. He never expected Spock to actually see the sketch he was working on…or the ones that came before it.
1. Chapter 1

Jim was bored. Jim was beyond bored. He was so bored that he couldn't remember a time when he wasn't bored. They'd been at warp for a week, and for whatever reason, he was getting cabin fever.

You may think that it's hard to get cabin fever on a ship as large as the Enterprise, but you'd be wrong.

He'd been at warp for this length of time before…but it just seemed borderline unbearable this time. Maybe it's because he knew that there was no swashbuckling adventure on the other end…just more research about a scarcely known galaxy.

He sat in the captain's chair, the bright lights overhead illuminating his golden hair. His PADD was resting on his right thigh and he was staring down at it intently, with a stylus in his hand.

For once, Kirk wasn't drowning in a torrent of paperwork or behind in learning some crucial bit of information. He just…had some time to himself. He'd spent the last week trying to do productive things…but he managed to somehow end up in a sketchbook app on his PADD.

He worried his bottom lip beneath his top teeth and glided the stylus effortlessly around the electronic surface. Luckily the PADD's technology promoted privacy, in that you had to be standing directly above, or in front of it, to be able to see the screen. From any other angle, it was a muddled gray.

He started the drawing with the intention of sketching a person…but that person ended up being Spock. Before he knew it, he had created a drawing of Spock at his work station, slightly reclined, one hand tentatively on his chin, the other on his lap. And he drew in the work station, factoring in the glow of the monitor as he filled in the sketch with an airbrush tool.

It was so easy to picture Spock in his mind…the way that the overhead light shone on his glossy black hair, the way his charcoal pants folded and creased as he sat, the look on his face as he stared at the monitor.

He particularly enjoyed drawing Spock's ear. He found his first officer's ears…fascinating. (Taking a word from Spock's book) He also discovered that he had an irrational desire to take them in his hands, and feel the soft flesh between his fingers.

"Captain," Spock's voice broke through his doodle and his thoughts. It scared him half to death and he noticeably jumped at the word. Spock was looking at his PADD, but he quickly swiped a hand over it, telling it to go into sleep mode.

"God, what are you? A ninja?" Jim asked, his heart still flying in his chest. Spock looked confused. "Although trained in various forms of martial arts, I am not a Japanese master spy from the 14th century."

"I know Spock," Jim said agitated. "It's a figure of speech…sort of…never-mind!"

"You seem upset captain." "What do you want?" Jim asked, changing the subject.

"I need your signature on this report," Spock said, extending a hand with his PADD in it. Jim looked up at Spock…he knew that those big chocolate eyes had seen exactly what he was drawing, and that thought made his stomach flip. He reached toward the PADD and signed it with his index finger quickly.

"I was also going to ask if you would be interested in a game of chess after dinner."

Jim's heart never slowed down. All he could think was, Spock must think I'm a real creep for drawing him. And now he's inviting me to play chess? This doesn't add up.

"Uh…yeah, sure," Jim found himself saying. "What time?" "Whenever you are finished with dinner captain, I will have set up the board in my quarters" the Vulcan said cooly, walking away.

Spock could feel the warmth of Jim's gaze trailing him as he walked back to his station to complete the remaining ten minutes of Alpha shift. But as soon as he sat, he felt the gaze slip away.

—

Jim was already losing the game. He'd managed to get the majority of his rooks captured and was desperately trying to maintain order through his failing strategy.

So far, they hadn't spoken much.

Spock invited him into his small, but tidy quarters. The room was far too warm for Jim's liking, and it didn't help that he was walking into the situation nervous either. The Vulcan seemed to be watching him intently. Jim tried to convince himself that it was due to the game…

Jim gulped, he could feel perspiration gathering at his temples. So much for 'never let 'em see you sweat.'

"Ever since I surprised you on the bridge, you seem…anxious captain," Spock finally broke the heavy silence between them. Jim looked up, his blue eyes a cool swimming pool in comparison to his reddening face. "I uh…" Jim trailed off, not sure what to say. Normally, if it were anyone else, he'd lie and say he wasn't anxious. But he didn't want to lie to his friend.

"Did you see what I was drawing?" he asked, slowly moving a piece on the board. "Yes," Spock replied, quickly moving his piece next, not even blinking an eye. Jim looked up at him expectantly.

"I am curious as to why you were drawing me," Spock said. "In fact, I didn't even know that you had such artistic abilities."

Jim cracked a tiny smile. "Was that a compliment?" Jim asked in his usual smug tone. "Simply an observation," Spock said, looking up at Jim beneath downturned eyebrows. It was the vulcan equivalent of rolling one's eyes.

"So why were you drawing me?" Spock asked, curiosity barely hiding beneath his leveled voice. Jim tightened his jaw. "…I don't know. Just bored I guess." Spock clearly wasn't buying it. Spock could either prod further or…"Could I see your drawings?" Spock queried.

Jim's head shot up from looking at the board and he sucked in a deep breath. A long pause passed between them as Jim searched his head for a polite way to say 'no.'

"I don't think that's a good idea Spock," Jim said, recalling all of the sketches he'd ever done. A lot of them were of Spock. Most of them were of Spock. Things he'd seen in the meld with Spock Prime…among other things.

Once, when he couldn't sleep, he drew a picture of them kissing. The very same image that was burned into his mind from Delta Vega.

Spock looked more perplexed. "Why isn't it a good idea?"

"Can you just drop it?" Jim asked, knowing full-well that by saying that, he was only piquing his friend's interest.

Kirk shifted uncomfortably in his seat, he could feel color rising to his already flushed face, and Spock was just staring at him. Little did he know that it kind of turned Spock on to see Jim sweat. His own body would never relinquish life-sustaining liquid so easily.

"If I cannot see your drawings, can I at least see the sketch that you did today on the bridge?"

Jim considered the request. He gripped his knees in his hands beneath the table, the chess game long forgotten in his mind.

"Sure," he said, pulling out his PADD.


	2. Chapter 2

If it was anyone else, Kirk would never have handed his PADD over, but this was Spock, and he knew that his first officer would never violate his privacy and continue searching though his sketches.

So he pulled out the PADD and opened the sketch app. He scrolled quickly through the gallery and selected his last drawing. The familiar image bloomed to life on the screen. It wasn't quite finished, but it didn't quite matter.

Jim looked into Spock's eyes as he handed over the device.

The science officer held it in his hands, his face glowed from the gentle backlighting of the PADD, and his eyes scanned the image. It was a loose sketch, with stray marks here and there, yet, it seemed amazingly accurate.

The length of Spock's limbs…the expression on his face…the folds of his uniform as they conformed to his somewhat relaxed position. Even the way the glow from the monitor lightly dusted his facial features…it was kind of remarkable.

"You were not looking at me when you drew this?" Spock asked, looking up at Jim after a few minutes, and then back at the PADD. "Surely I would have noticed."

"No…I wasn't looking at you when I drew it."

Deep brown eyes scanned over his face. There was some expression in them…that Spock was fighting to hold down. Jim could almost feel the emotional struggle behind them, but he couldn't determine the emotion.

It wasn't really Spock's place to pry further, but he had no desire to let the topic go.

"Have you drawn me before?" he asked.

The question hung between them and Jim felt himself start to get hard just thinking about all the images in his mind that he wished to draw. Just to get them out of his head… There was one sketch in particular that was "racy" to say the least.

Thank god he had such tech savvy. He had managed to encrypt his entire sketchbook and keep it's contents absolutely out of the reach of Star Fleet.

Typically, everything on the PADD was transferred to a main database as a sort of back up, as well as a way to look into the mind's of the crew, if Star Fleet so desired. But he had hacked the system and shrouded the sketchbook in a thousand layers of un-hackable code.

The downside to having such an uninhibited sketchbook?: What was happening right now.

"Jim," Spock brought the man back to the conversation.

"Yes," he answered quietly.

"Do you draw other crew members?"

"No."

Jim sucked in a breath. "I uh…usually draw objects…or…diagrams," he said, his eyes shifting uncomfortably.

Spock's head was cocked to the side, a clear sign that he was intrigued. And Jim's stomach dropped because he realized in that moment, that Spock wasn't going to let this go. Once his curiosity was awakened, that was it, game over. He wouldn't stop until he had all the answers he wanted. And some part of Jim…wanted to give them all.

Spock stood and walked close to Jim. "What are you doing?" Jim asked. "I'm making the room cooler for you," Spock replied. "You seem rather flushed." The alien adjusted the temperature, Jim's PADD still in his hand, and then just stood next to Jim who was still seated.

"I wish I could see more of your drawings captain," he finally said in a deeper tone of voice that was completely untying Jim's self control. The captain stood, expecting Spock to move a step back, but he didn't, and the two of them were painfully close to one another.

Jim was still sweating. The tiny little beads of liquid gleamed on his face. His chest rose and fell too quickly, and he was certain that Spock could probably smell the arousal pulsing off his body. All of the Vulcan's advantages weren't fair. His sense of smell, his ability to hear the faintest noises, his gripping strength…his self lubricating…

"Captain?" the Vulcan whispered, noticing how Jim's eyes were swallowed by widening black pupils. "Dear god man…we're not on duty, you can call me Jim," the man in the gold uniform chuckled.

"Jim," Spock said. The singular word lighting Kirk's body on fire.

"How are you so accurately able to portray my figure? My proportions? My expression?" Spock asked, but got no answer. "I want to see more."

"Okay," Jim finally said. "You can see them all."

As soon as the words left his mouth, he panicked. What if Spock seeing these things…ruined their friendship? Their command? Their dynamic? But he couldn't take it back, the sentence was already out there and Spock had already brought the device up into the very small space between them. They were so close that Spock's knuckles even dragged against the fabric of his shirt. The physical contact went straight to Jim's groin, pulling even more blood away from his overheated brain.

Spock opened the entire sketchbook, and tiny clips of past drawings littered the screen. There were so many images, but he settled on one, tapping it with his finger. Jim's eyes wouldn't leave his face.

Kirk knew which picture Spock picked. He didn't even have to look. But when he did, he saw exactly what he expected to see. It was the drawing he did of them kissing.

Jim wondered if Spock could hear his heart it was beating so fast.


	3. Chapter 3

Spock tried to mentally process all of the newly revealed information, but it wasn't easy. He felt his brain short circuit and his self control begin to wane as his eyes scanned over beautifully detailed digital sketches that involved himself and his captain in…compromising positions.

His lips hung slightly parted, dark bangs unable to hide the surprise and lust and was threatening to make itself known in his expression.

He glanced up briefly at his captain.

Jim thought he could die from that look. Spock's eyes had become huge black discs that ventured to peel back all of his defenses. They bored into his own eyes for a few minutes before dragging slowly back down to the PADD that Spock held in his hands. Jim swore that he could see a soft green flush creep into the Vulcan's cheeks and climb up his neck.

A slender finger reached out and touched the PADD, returning to the full gallery of images. And then it selected the next sketch. An image of Spock, naked, with Jim beneath him, came up to the screen. In the sketch, Spock was above Jim, the toned expanse of his back visible, the cords in his arm muscles standing out as they propped up his body. Jim was beneath Spock, his legs apart, his expression visible. The vantage point was arial, but off to the side just a bit, revealing the majority of Spock's body, Jim's legs wrapped around his lower back.

Kirk was terrified about how Spock would react to this. Vulcans were a conservative bunch to say the least, and he…had borne witness to very private things put into his mind on accident. And instead of letting them go, he drew them.

Fuck, what was he thinking?

Slowly, carefully, he looked at Spock…surprised by the green flush that had now entirely enveloped Spock's cheeks, his neck, his ears.

The first officer stared at the image, quite unable to tear his gaze away, despite feeling the heat of Jim's eyes on his face.

The image of Jim's blissed out face was burning itself into Spock's memory - even if it was just a drawing. The slight shimmer on his lips that were drawn red and swollen, the way his bright blue eyes stared up at Spock in reverence.

"Spock…" Jim whispered.

The utterance drew Spock's head up, and as soon as he looked at Jim, the captain fell apart a little on the inside. He felt his body drawing even closer to Spock's. His brain wasn't working anymore, and all he could feel was the desperate pull of gravity, the overwhelming desire to fall into Spock.

Spock lowered the PADD from the space between them that was now filled with Jim's body. Kirk put his forehead against the Vulcan's, taking deep breaths, his eyes drowning in lust. But he hadn't been so bold as to kiss his friend outright.

He knew that Spock could feel the erection that was now painfully straining against his black regulation pants.

"You desire me Jim?" Spock murmured onto Jim's lips that hovered right before his own. A puff of air brushed across his lips as Jim let out a loaded laugh of air. "Very much," Jim answered.

"I have so many questions…" Spock breathed into the tiny space. "I know," Jim said, closing his eyes briefly. "But for now…can I just…kiss you?"

Their foreheads still pressed together, Spock nodded up and down slightly, his soft black hair rubbing against the captain's golden skin.

Jim reached out a hand, never moving anything but his arm, and took the PADD from Spock's hand, discarding it somewhere…it didn't matter…and then bringing that same hand up to Spock's face. The same look of reverence present in the sketch was now painted on Jim's face as he looked at Spock in that moment before bringing his lips closer.


	4. Chapter 4

Jim's plush pink lips grazed Spock's, slowly at first. And despite having his mental shields up, Spock could feel the restraint that Kirk was struggling to maintain. He himself, had no restraint left.

Once their lips met, he sensed desire, admiration, longing, affection…an entire wave of emotion came crashing through his mind, leaking through his shields.

His lips parted further and Jim took it as an invitation to slip in his tongue. A guttural moan vibrated in Spock's chest as Kirk explored his mouth with his searing hot human tongue. His hand never left the Vulcan's face and so desperately Spock wanted to reach out…to touch Jim's face…to combine their minds.

The desire to do so was so overpowering that Spock stopped himself by a mere inch from carrying it out; his hand hovering over the meld points on his friend's face.

Once he realized just how close he had come to melding with Jim…without his permission…Spock pulled away.

Jim's expression was one of dismay, alarm and lingering lust. His mouth opened, he needed to say something and fast… "I'm…I'm sorry Spock…I never meant to…alarm you, or jeopardize our friendship…"

"Stop," Spock said, unsure of how to proceed.

Jim just stood there, waiting, his pulse vibrating in his head and pulsing in his groin. He was absolutely terrified that he just threw their friendship away.

"I didn't stop because I didn't desire…I found what we were doing favorable." "So why'd you stop?" Jim queried, his panic beginning to die down.

"I stopped because I very nearly melded with you."

Jim's bright blue eyes swept over the Vulcan's face. His face was still sticky with sweat, that darkened the roots of his usually blazing blonde hair. The expression he wore was one of consideration.

"Why don't you? Meld with me I mean…" he asked with such childlike trust.

Spock took two steps back when they ceased kissing and now, Jim was taking two steps forward. The science officer was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. He still had so many questions, and hesitation flickered in his eyes.

As if reading his thoughts Jim said "if we meld…won't…whatever questions you have be answered? Won't it…help make your hesitation go away? Or instead, prove that you should keep it?"

"You are speaking of the meld as if it's a simple transference of information…" "No," Jim cut him off. "I know that it's more than that." "You do?" "Yes." "How?" Spock asked, his eyebrows drawn together darkly.

Jim reached a hand up to the back of his neck. He was nervous and he was showing it.

"Because I've melded before…" the words timidly escaped his lips.

Spock's eyes went wide with startled confusion. The Vulcan felt a very irrational surge of jealousy rage through his body. He drew even closer to Jim, fists balled. "With whom?"

"With you."

"I do not understand," Spock said, his eyes shifting, his mind searching for answers it didn't have. "Explain."

"Well…sort of with you. I melded with Spock Prime on Delta Vega."

As the words left his lips, he could see Spock's demeanor shift. "I had to…" he said, instantly regretting it due to the look of pure panic in Spock's eyes. "I mean…I didn't have to…there was just so little time and so much that we needed to explain to each other."

Spock's face relaxed a little, but still looked troubled. Knowing the answer to this one question had only brought a hundred other questions to his mind.

"Does that have something to do with the accuracy with which you draw me? Or the things you are drawing?"

Jim felt like his face was on fire, a rich red spread across his cheeks as his mind instantly recalled the most intimate moments he witnessed in the meld. "Yes…sort of…"

Spock looked angry again.

"So all of this has been a result of things that you've seen from a life that isn't even your own?"

"It's not like that Spock."

"Then what is it like?" Spock asked, frustration vibrating in his voice. "It seems like I am simply the recipient of the affection that you carry for Spock Prime."

The words struck Jim like a blow to the face. His heart twisted in his chest, pulling his composure down with it.

"All I want Spock…is you. I had feelings for you before I melded with your counterpart," the words stung with indignation as they ran past Jim's tongue. "I tried to put those feelings away, to push them down, to tear them up, but I couldn't. And when I saw that…that I got to be with you in another timeline, it made me… so fucking mad!" his voice cracked, the words shook with emotion.

"Why did it make you mad?" Spock asked.

"Because I wanted you…I wanted you in my timeline, in this timeline, and the thought that may not happen…" he let the sentence disappear, unable to finish it.

"So I drew what I saw in the meld…so what!" Jim shouted. "I didn't draw Jim and Spock Prime, I drew us!"

The last word fell heavy in the otherwise silent room.

Spock felt such an immense longing for Jim bloom in his chest and reach out in his mind. "I'm sorry Jim," Spock said, "I'm sorry I angered you, that wasn't my intention. I was confused," the half human said solemnly, afraid that he had broken whatever was just created between them.

Kirk turned to the side and dragged a hand down his tired face. He felt so vulnerable and exposed, mad at Spock even. And it was insane that in spite of it all, he still wanted nothing more than to turn back and cling to Spock.

The door was to his right and Spock was to his left. He had to decide which way to go.

He sighed, shifted his weight, and turned to the left.


End file.
